Thursday, March 3, 2011

pushing a sofa uphill

Ever have this feeling? Lately everything has felt extra hard. Instead of feeling like this:

I feel like this:

 Every run feels like I am pushing a sofa uphill. Skiing is marginally better. I force myself out there, but it just. Is. Not. Fun. And the writing? Horrible. I struggle with sentences, ponder paragraphs. Nothing is smooth, it is all a rough surface, a slog.

This could be attributed to the fact that it's March. March truly is a cruel month. Yesterday it was sixty degrees. Today it is snowing. This bipolar weather leaves me feeling unsettled and off my game. It leads to eating chocolate with abandon, throwing clothes around the room because nothing looks good, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction. Just pick a temperature and stick with it! March also seems to bring out the crazies, the exes that you just wish would disappear because they still do not get how they broke your heart and went whistling away, and the haunting desire to chuck it all and move to an island in Greece even though your government retirement would end up being about $300 a year.

I don't get why some days, the running/skiing/hiking/writing is effortless and others when it is so awful that you want to throw in the towel and go back to being a seasonal wilderness ranger because that was the best job ever, who cares if you have to live in a dingy bunkhouse with mice and eat Ramen Noodles! All I can do is push through it because I know it comes back.

I am going to try the following:

1. Cookies. I know! I know! But in moderation.
2. Buy something cute. I know! (See above)
3. Read my John Muir Trail guidebook and obsessively plan for a trip that's over a year away.
4. Plan a fall trip and figure out how to drag reluctant husband on it.
5. Speaking of, I'm getting married in four months and have not planned a thing.
6. Write something. Anything but the Novel of Despair.

So tell me. What do you do when this happens to you (and I sincerely hope I am not the only one)? What are your favorite cures?


7 comments:

  1. First - congratulations on setting a date! :-)

    When this happens to me, and it has often in the last few years, I read your life and daydream about just running away to do just what you are doing. Then I get a grip and go off to the cottage for a while with just the dog. Spend my weekend mostly in jammies, reading, knitting, sitting on the back porch watching the pond with NPR in the background. Then I come home late on Sunday feeling a little better and ready to face another week of work. For now Dave and I plan when Tessa is out of high school and then we are free to just move out of our old house and go where we wish. (Though at the moment we just want to move to the cottage. :-)

    Oh, and vitamin D - - - this helps me get out of the dull-drums. But I am betting that you are seeing the sun more than I do in my 8 hours day stuck behind a desk in the glow of the computer monitor.

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  2. No remedy I can think of. Sure, there is chocolate, cookies or ice cream but I would have to eat them non-stop to get some energy into my body and brain.
    Walks in a forest or on a beach help but again, I would have to stay there for hours and I don't have hours.
    Sorry, I am of no use. Oh, maybe get rid of that couch.
    Wedding. GREAT. Elope to some romantic, undisclosed location, get married under birch/aspen or other cool trees, and save all the money to travel the world. That's what I would do.

    Hope you will perk up soon.

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  3. That's me...the one in the pink dress pictured above. I surely do relate...I think it is March, indeed, esp. in the northern climes, when winter has been going on forever, no green, no growies, and here, not much sun. Even the people you care about rub your edges the wrong way some days. Life seems to be just passing by. Not too much help here, just commiseration. I dream about places I'd go, things I'd do, other climates I could live in. It WILL get better as the season turns. And plan that trip...and drag that husband...

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  4. How about...just for today, I'm going to do nothing in the list above--no couch pushing, writing struggles, outdoor sports, whatever. I'm just planning to sit, read, think, listen to music, chill and maybe have a little more chocolate until my malaise goes away.

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  5. Thanks for the suggestions! Keep them coming! I like the cabin idea, E..I will be right over!

    I figured one thing out..I was getting a COLD. No wonder it all felt hard. Glad I can blame it on something.

    I've never been a fan of complaining when there are opportunities. My biggest obstacle is having to work.Sure I am glad I have a job but it is keeping me from doing what I love.

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  6. Well I eat GS cookies! March is a really bad month for me too. I bought a whole case this year. That is exactly 12 boxes of the most calorie filled cookies (Samoas, Tagalongs, and Thin Mints).

    I also do the vitamin D thing...it really does help.

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  7. When you figure it out let me know....:-p
    The sun is the best cure for me, everything is better when the sun is shining, even if it's just for a little while.
    Getting sick, well that says it all. Nothing works or looks right when you are coming down with something.
    and sometimes, you just need to sleep extra, read a book, vegetate and let yourself be unproductive. Consider it necessary recovery.

    Mariah

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