But the adventure. It balances out, as much as it can, those ten hours sitting at the computer. I want to come back to work with memories. I want to see things, not just the space in front of the house, or a few hours of a day hike. I want to be away. Luckily, J gets it when I say, "I want to do these things while I still can." "Why do you think I bike so much?" he asks.
In the end, I decided to go. I drove for an hour up a road that led to a fire lookout, and hiked a trail I hadn't been on. It plunged downward into the canyon with twenty-nine switchbacks. It was apparent nobody had been on this trail for some time. I bashed through a thick forest of brush, praying tick season was over, and climbed over and under 32 fallen trees (I count them for the trail crew). The views were outstanding. This canyon is every bit as amazing as the Grand, but lack of money to maintain trails and its relative unknown status keeps people away. I feel kind of sad about that, even though I can count on not seeing a soul.
|Rush Creek Rapids, 6,000 feet below.|
|The hills are alive.|
I found a bench to camp on. The silence was incredible--just the wind and little buzzy bugs. I don't think most people get enough silence.
|This ranks right up there in top tent sites.|
I don't know why I have it, this ticking metronome that makes me want to go instead of stay. I don't know a lot of other people who are this way. They still have full weekends, with some outdoors stuff, but are content to be home every night. It would be easier if I didn't feel so driven by the need to step outside a routine. But I do, and I can't believe it is wrong.
I've read a rash of articles lately by young women who state that they are "choosing adventure over the daily grind." They blithely state that they will bankrupt themselves for the present, and will not worry about having to work at checkout stands at eighty. While I understand that desire, I can't subscribe to it. That's why I'm living my life as a hybrid of this. Work and save during the week, adventure (as much as possible) on the weekends. Is it perfect? Of course not. I still want a home, and pets, and not to live out of a storage unit or my car. I also want to be in the wilderness. I don't want to work at eighty years old. So I do what I can. I will almost always choose to go.